Re:Zero Light Novel Volume 12/Synopsis

Chapter 5: Ending List
Returning by Death, Subaru once again wakes up on the floor of the tomb, where he briefly checks to make sure he still has his left eye. He looks to his side and sees Emilia once again lying on the floor and being tormented by the Trial. Instead of waking her though, Subaru touches his lips, remembering the kiss she gave him. Understanding that it was a result of Emilia's mental state deteriorating due to Puck and his own absence as well as the pressure of those around her that led to that kiss, he resolves to not let that happen to her again. He also resolves to save everyone in the Sanctuary and the mansion by organizing all the information he has accumulated. He wakes Emilia up as he promises himself he will protect her and everyone else at the cost of his own life.

The most crucial detail of information he takes into consideration is the fact that Roswaal knows that he is looping, though he doesn't know death is the prerequisite. What Subaru also doesn't know is how long Roswaal has known about this, but he is very certain he found out from the Tome of Wisdom. He deduces that all of Roswaal's actions have been in accordance to the tome, and while it was similar to those in the Witch Cult, he acknowledges that Petelguese interpreted incomplete prophecies while adjusting to changing events on the fly as opposed to Roswaal's strict observation with no room for inconsistencies. Knowing all of this, and the fact that Roswaal brought the snow that lured the Oousagi and isolated Emilia per the tome's guidance, Subaru declares that he will not be like Roswaal: he will not throw away everything to protect only one thing the way he is. He is worried that no one will be able to help him though, so he considers consulting Echidna once again.

Events from before (meeting with Ryuzu and Emilia upset yet determined to face the Trial again) occur once again, but when Ram approaches Subaru for his talk with Roswaal, Subaru turns it down and runs back to the tomb. He thinks back to what Echidna told him the requirements for next tea party are, he yells out to Echidna for guidance once again. Suddenly he finds himself falling onto the ground and passing out, as he hears a voice say "behold the unknowable present".

When Subaru comes to, he realizes that now he is but a consciousness with no body. As he tries to figure out what is going on, he hears someone weakly calling his voice. He faces the direction and looks at the scene of him having slit his throat with a knife at Rem's beside in an attempt to go back and save her. What was new was Emilia holding onto his dead body crying and calling him a liar. The scene leaves him horrified, as he never thought about the worlds he left behind when he returned by death. The scene continues when Wilhelm comes in to the room and sees Subaru's dead body as well, which horrifies him. He immediately yells for Ferris, who comes in and seeing Subaru, starts to try and heal him. Subaru himself repeatedly tells them to stop because that version of him was already dead. Sure enough, despite Wilhelm and Ferris' futile efforts, they couldn't save him. Afterwards, Wilhelm curses at how Subaru could do this so easily and Ferris chews him out for abandoning everyone close to him. Emilia drives the final nail in the coffin by reminding Subaru about how he told her he loved her before the scene comes to an end.

Returning to consciousness, Subaru vomits at the thought of witnessing the "scene after Subaru's death". He wonders if that was the second Trial before he falls unconscious once again. The next scene he bears witness to is when he asked Julius and Ferris to kill him after Petelguese took control of his body. He sees several knights surrounding his body as Emilia walked over to him saying his name in a dazed state. Julius asks Emilia to wipe Subaru's face as he felt it would have been more appropriate than if he did it and she does so, all the while asking over and over why he came back only to end up like this. Wilhelm and the other knights mourn his death as Julius says he wished to talk to him again, because he wanted to call him his friend.

Regaining consciousness again, Subaru starts rolling around on the floor in agony at what he just witnessed as he wonders if the worlds he leaves behind continue to thrive. He hears the voice once again say "behold the unknowable present" before passing out. The next scene was when he commited suicide after jumping off a cliff and onto several spikes below after Rem died from a Demon Beast curse. What he saw was Ram and Beatrice looking at his body with Ram saying he was spouting nonsense to the very end. She asks Beatrice if she knew this would happen, but Beatrice instead asks, while crying, asks why Subaru would do such a thing even though she knew he wasn't "That person". Ram turns to face Subaru's body again and calls him a man beyond saving.

The next scene is after Subaru escapes the cave with Rem's body and he was frozen solid by Puck in his monster form. He, however, was confronted by Reinhard, who Puck suspected would come. Reinhard asks about Emilia and Subaru, and Puck replies that Emilia is 'sleeping forever', and since he refuses to live in a world without her, per their contract he will freeze the world. As for Subaru, he considers him just as guilty as himself for what happened. While understanding his rage, Reinhard refuses to let Puck have his way and draws forth the Dragon Sword as Puck tells Reinhard he does not resent him for he is a hero. However, he insults Reinhard saying a hero is all he can be. Reinhard unleashes the Dragon Sword and annihiliates Puck while ending the snowstorm he brought. His last words in the scene was that Felt would be sad.

Over and over, Subaru witnessed several other worlds after his passing before finally returning to the real world. He started to sink into despair thinking about everything he just witnessed and what it all means before he heard a familiar voice call out to him. He looks up and sees before him Rem, who compassionately asks him if he is alright. Subaru starts to believe what he is seeing is a lie, but Rem says it isn't because he wants her here by his side. He starts to cry at berade himself for failing to do anything and having her be there for him because of it, but she recofirms how useful she wants to be to him. As Rem approached Subaru on the floor, he tells her that he feels tired even though he hasn't done anything and curses at his weakness and inability to get stronger before asking Rem how many times has he truly saved anyone after he dies in past worlds and how many times will he be responsible for her fate. Rem, however, continues to stay by his side reaffirming her love for him and comforting him before telling him to let her take all of his feelings. Subaru almost gave in to her comfort before he hears another voice saying "It is easy to give up. However, it does not suit you Subaru."

Hearing that voice, comes back to reality and asks who the "Rem" standing in front of him is. He yells to her that whenever he felt like giving up because he was stuck, she would sit by him and let him dump his feelings out before tellling him to stand back up again. Because this "Rem" told him to let her handle everything, he realized she was a fake because Rem would never telling him to give up and leave it all to her. He yells that because of her love for him, she made him love himself more, and that there is no one more softer or stricter than Rem. "Rem" tries to calm Subaru down but he continues saying he will show her his weakness but never him giving up, because Rem would be there to cover his weakness. Because of that, he tells the fake to leave his sight and to never approach him looking like or sounding like Rem.

"Rem" stutters that this wasn't how things were supposed to be before her apperance changes to someone completely new to Subaru. He asks who she is and she introduces herself as Carmilla, the Witch of Lust. Subaru asks if this is Echidna's world but Carmilla says it is still the Trial. Subaru demands Carmilla tell him what she was doing looking like Rem in front of him and Carmilla nervously says it was a result of him looking directly at her. She says that Echidna lied to her and how everyone gangs up on her, but Subaru becomes too angry from her inability to explain herself that he ignores her.

Before he could say anything though, he gets brought back to his senses by Echinda herself, who explains that Carmilla's "Faceless Bride" causes others to forget how to breath. Seeing her at her table, he angrily asks what she was trying to pull, and she says she was just being wicked as witches do.